BE LOVE.BE LIGHT. BE UNITY.

belovebelightbeunityWhen we started this journey in 2011 my  son was a kid…a small child and we lived in that time trying our best as parents to get him through a new diagnosis and yet savoring and preserving the most of his innocent childhood seizing each moment that life with Epilepsy would allow! Especially at that time uncontrolled seizures! Now fast forward five years and that boy is no longer a child he is a teen and every day morphing into a young man trying to find his way and as parents our role has changed from trying to preserve his childhood to making sure he has his foundation and he is ready for the world that is ahead of him. Recently this Summer after a series of testing my son was diagnosed with a few more things other than his Epilepsy but they were caused by how long he has lived with Epilepsy and also by the time he went  without being diagnosed ; this disorder will forever affect his brain and his ability to process things throughout his day. Since this diagnosis we have had to learn as a family how to do things differently to not only help him in the present but to prepare him for his future!

His future, most parents start preparing their teens for a future with joy and they have no hesitations and no big worries, but I can’t honestly say as a parent of a teen with Epilepsy that my thoughts may be so easy going.I’m sure if you ask others they may agree When your child has seizures not only are you worrying about a time where seizures may be increased, but you are worrying about overall health and care and those who can be a good support base for your child when you are not right there! My son has many times when he not only can find dark times of sadness, where he is  trying to find his way in the day when his  thoughts are cloudy with negativity, times when he can’t remember to do simple tasks that come so naturally to many of us! Times when important memories don’t come easily and my honest worries are will there be someone kind enough to take his hand and help him through those days he can’t walk on his own! Someone who won’t prey on his weaknesses, or laugh at his vulnerability but walk by his side seeing the amazing person he is! Taking his hand and being there his support and his light in the days that are dark, his love when he is not confident in himself?

In raising my children I have been big on teaching them to BE LOVE…to BE LIGHT to everyone that comes across their paths in this world because their job is not only to remind them that they matter but also to remember You never know what battle someone may be fighting that your encounter in that moment of the day could bring them hope! They live by the no matter what your day is Always BE LOVE , ALWAYS BE LIGHT…. So my hope is that there will be many along his journey that have the same morals and values that he has and that also they live by the BE LOVE. BE LIGHT…and no matter what your day is always BE LOVE, ALWAYS BE LIGHT mentality!

In a community we are asking for a light to shine on Epilepsy and more awareness to be raised and more understanding and now all the more I understand why! We can’t afford anymore to have so many out here feeling like they are walking a journey of being misunderstood and not cared for. It is hard enough to deal with seizures when you have family helping you but when you are walking this journey by yourself it is long and dark and no one deserves to fight alone, when you have encouragement you feel you can do anything…and on days the battle gets tough you have a team cheering you on reminding you never to give up!

I implore you Epilepsy community continue to raise your voices don’t be quieted , don’t let your lights be dimmed out raise them every day and especially this month of November  as we raise awareness BE LOVE. BE LIGHT. BE UNITY! 

We Cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without

brightening our own” ~Ben Sweetland

I Was Here!

I came across a song and it made me think and also reminded me that…

As a girl I had dreams of doing something big, having a life where everyone knew who I was…over the years my dreams shifted, my priorities changed…

Over this week I’ve been able to do some reflecting and take a look at my life! On this very day my birthday; I ask myself at the end of my life what legacy do I leave behind? Have and will I fulfill the very purpose I was born for?

Even though I dreamt of one as a younger girl, I have not been given a big platform in the entertainment world, I don’t have a life where everyone knows who I am, I don’t sit at a place where I come into contact with millions of people to make an impact…but this does not mean that I can’t make a mark on this world!

What I do understand that in life we all have been given platforms, their size depends on what we choose to do with them, the magnitude is felt by how we use them! What I do know and what I now see is that the legacy I leave, the proof that I was here is done by the way I choose to live and the impact I have with those around me!

To my parents I want to be the best daughter that I can be that it not only touches them but inspires my children to have a remarkable relationship with my husband and myself. To my husband I want to be that wife that brings glory to her husband, and imitates the love that Christ has shown us impacting him and bringing joy to his life; in doing influencing my children and in turn hoping it impacts the way my children interact in future relationships with their spouses! I want to be that mother to my kids that brings joy and delight to their hearts, that reflects the love that God has for us his children…praying that my love so impacts my children and moves them to be not only the reflection of God but also me in their children. That the traditions I have started with them have influenced them that they carry them into their lives and remember and are surrounded with my love! To my siblings I wish to be the sister that is not only bonded by blood but by friendship and love, that I may be an example to my children and those around me.

To my friends I want to be a friend that is so close it feels as though I’m a sister, to be a champion in your cause fighting alongside you…

To everyone I want to be the smile on the unsure days, the laughter on the hard, the kind word when the journey gets rough, the listening ear when you need one, the smallest act of caring when you are all used up.

I want my life to be the reflection of Flavia Weedn’s words in which she said:

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile,and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same!”

The impact I make on my family and friends and those I come into contact with is my purpose and will leave footprints on their hearts, those footprints will be my legacy that will surely show that “I WAS HERE!”

We are One!

Un Pour Tous,  Tous Pour Un!  All for one, and one for all!

This motto is one that is associated with the Three Musketeers; in the novel these words are cleverly  used to describe the loyalty between three companions. Their dedication to each other and their cause! Words that explain the fact that no matter what came their way, they were together through thick and thin!

After our son’s diagnosis with Epilepsy those words were heard day and night as he battled to find a sense of himself, to understand the changes not only in his life, but also in his brain! While; we, as his parents wondered why him , and how we were going to get past obstacles! Words heard as his siblings rallied to help him through each day, putting their own needs aside! These words echoed as we lost friendships and relationships changed!  These words we cling to as air, for survival! “ALL FOR ONE, AND ONE FOR ALL!

There are 50+ million people worldwide; it does not matter if they are rich or poor, their nationality makes no difference. It does not ask whether they are a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a niece , a nephew, a grandmother, a grand father, a wife, a husband, a son , a daughter…a friend, a lover, a co-worker, an employee, or  a neighbor! These 50+ million have something in common they have been diagnosed with Epilepsy.

50+ million people who are searching for answers, trying to understand, fighting to survive, seeking acceptance, making adjustments, overcoming obstacles and living in the day they are given!

50+million people who individually have a strength that endures the hardest day, a will that could move the largest mountain and above all the mindset that they cannot lose and the determination to never give up or back down.

Yes it is important to have individual strength, to have strength and unity as a family core!

But the most powerful the most meaningful of these is the true understanding  in knowing there is; something so much more, than what we can see in front of us, than what we can hear, than what we can touch…  and that is  that we went from one voice  to 50+million who are all in unison saying  “All for one, and one for all!”  That We went from standing alone to being surrounded by 50+ million who all stand on one platform created out of the words  “all for one, and one for all!

That our touch reaches out with our determination  not to stop with in our own lives but when we as  individuals work tirelessly day in and day out to raise awareness, to advocate, to support, to love, to lift, to listen and to help others see that they are not alone in this journey!

It took three years for my family and I to learn these valuable lessons, and now we know that although there must be individual strength and family unity that the biggest power comes from 50+ million people who are willing to no longer be individuals or strangers but become family and  believe in those words “All For One, and One For All” and  stand united as an Epilepsy community with one voice and say;

We are one, our cause is one, and we must help each other if we are to succeed!  ~ Fredrick Douglass 1847

 

I Don’t Know…But I Do Know!

You’re right I can’t begin to understand what it’s like to have a seizure. I can not begin to relate to the emotions that you go through before one hits and those you experience after! You’re exactly right I have never felt the pain that comes into your head or body after a seizure has had its way.  I have never felt the disappointment of having to cancel plans because a seizure has exhausted every ounce of energy you had. You are right, you are correct, no one knows and can truly understand; unless they themselves have had or have seizures.

Do you want to know what I do know?

I know what it feels like to watch a love one have a seizure. I know the way our heart feels  one moment it’s beating at a normal pace then suddenly it turns to a quick beat and then it’s racing.

I know that, at that moment you have so many thoughts going through your mind, keeping track of time; how long have they been in this seizure?  noting what happened before, what’s going on during; gotta stay calm, Oh Lord keep them safe, what are they thinking ? don’t panic! It’s going to be alright! Is this seizure gonna change their/ our life? how long will they need to bounce back? What if this doesn’t stop? I love them so much, please let it go away, dear Lord why? Why not me? Do they know what’s going on? I feel so helpless, I can’t do anything but wait! You’re mind is pacing.

I know a stomach pain that can feel like it’s twisted in knots as I am waiting for this moment to end. I know there are times where I feel so sick  that throwing up would feel like a relief.

I know the lump that’s at the back of your throat as worry, fear, anguish, strength and calm meet.

I know the strain that comes into your eyes as you try not to blink in case you miss an important moment, knowing the importance of keeping your eye on your love one. I know the sting that can pierce your eyes as you try to keep the tears back. I know how quickly your eyes can fill with  tears like a river overflowing!

I know the tilt of your head slightly backwards as you try to keep the tears from falling, I know the turn of your head as you try to make these tears unnoticeable to the love one experiencing the seizure.

I know the shakiness in the voice and body as you try to re-gather yourself to explain to your love one what just happened, as you explain it’s ok and you are right there with them.

I  do know the sadness that comes over when plans have to be canceled, and you see the look of disappointment in your love ones eyes.

So when you say I don’t know what you go through, you’re absolutely right; No I don’t know, I don’t.

But…I can tell you what I do know and that’s if I could I would take your seizures upon myself so you wouldn’t have to. I do know that for every second you lose to a seizure, those are  minutes of heartache for me! I don’t know the emotions you feel, but I do know the whirlwind  I’ve just experienced! I don’t know your pain but I do know the aching I have when standing by unable to do anything. I know I can’t replace your daily medication, but I know I can give you a dose of laughter and smiles! I know I don’t possess the power of your rescue medications but I do know that:

“No three words have greater power than I LOVE YOU” ~ unknown source

and those are three words I’m more than happy to say!outline purple heart

In a Single Moment!

work pics 921Eyes focused and locked to the left, head slightly jerking. “Mommy? Daddy? Where are you? MOMMY, I CAN’T SEE! As he continued to speak his speech slurred, and his words unrecognizable. My heart stopped, I panicked but calmly said “I’m right here, can you hear me?” “Mommy, Mommy, I can hear you, but I can’t see you! My son said as he began to wave his hands in the air, searching for us to be able to touch and know we were there.   My husbands face said it all , and although in most situations he is calm, I could tell this time was different he was as scared as I was! He quickly picked our son up and ran to the car. In my mind, I couldn’t think, but I wondered is my son having a stroke. In the car on the ride to the hospital up the street, I spoke calmly to my son while holding him…

Just minutes before we were at Chuck E Cheese celebrating his birthday, shooting basketballs into the hoop, collecting tickets, eating pizza, and posing for pictures! Just minutes before we were laughing and smiling! Just minutes before we were all okay!

Now we were rushing our son into the hospital straight into the emergency department. I stood in fear as I explained what brought us in, and then a tug on my jacket…”Mommy, I don’t feel so good; I feel like I’m gonna throw up” and he did.

My husband was finally in after parking the car. Minutes later we’re in the room waiting for the doctor to come in.

In my mind I’m replaying the day, trying to figure out what happened, what was going on! Hours before we were in that exact hospital, just a few floors up; in the office  at his yearly examine with his primary doctor. He was a healthy 8yr. old boy “Healthy”, his doctor had checked him thoroughly, he had been growing perfectly! A few hours before he was FINE… now here we were, with no clue, no clue what was going on!

Nurses, doctors, technicians in and out of the room, tests being ran, blood being drawn. Sitting there confused, scared…pleading with God! Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, the doctor comes in after speaking with P’nut’s primary doctor “He has a concussion, these are his instructions for discharge…”the night before P’nut and his younger brother had been playing in the living room on the wood floor, they had sleeping bags down and in one swoop, P’nut had hit the ground his brother fell on top of his head, causing it to bang onto the ground; for a moment it caused him to cry but he got back up and played. When I called his doctor office they said since he was moving around all was fine, and he would be checked out first thing during his appointment.

On this very date three years ago  what we didn’t know was that; that one moment that we witnessed…was actually a seizure, and more than that; what we didn’t realize was that one single moment was getting ready to change our lives forever!

….TO BE CONTINUED….

Someone Like You, Cared!

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” ~ Dr. Seuss

Two and a half years ago when my son started his journey of testing to see what was going on he started out with one neurologist. After his diagnosis with Epilepsy; this neurologist received his chart with all the information. During the first week home as we began adjusting this neurologist called to chat with me and to see how things were going; as we chatted it was explained that my son’s condition was more complicated than they were comfortable dealing with, that this would be better if dealt with from the best!

Many shook their head at this knowledge but I respected this doctor, and thanked them for caring enough to admit this and see that we were placed in the right doctor’s hands to get the care needed. That first appointment with the new neurologist we all were nervous we didn’t know what to expect; we knew he was known to be the best at what he did and well-respected!

As soon as the doctor walked in we knew him, he was the same attending doctor who had diagnosed our son with Epilepsy, the same one who came and walked me through his tests, let me cry and explained to me plainly so I could understand. He was the same doctor who then after went into the room sat down with P’nut and explained what was going on so that he could understand… and then sat there as we took it in! This doctor when I asked him “Where do we go from here?” Looked me straight in the eyes and said this young man deserves to go to the top! You go home you learn everything you can about Epilepsy, you learn to care properly for him, you continue to journal so we can work hand in hand to give him the best care.” and as I shook my head he went on to say ” You help Andre’ Jr. become exceptional in the life he’s been given!” I took those words not only pondered them in my heart and mind, but grabbed hold of them and let them empower me to be the best for my son and not just that it became our goal and focus in life.

Through these past years this neurologist has worked wholeheartedly to be the best doctor for my son, he has not only taken the time to listen and chat with him but all of us! whenever he saw him he would embrace him with a hug and remind him of his strength! This doctor touched P’nut’s life so much and inspired him, to the point where P’nut started a project to give back to others who have Epilepsy. In this project his doctor encouraged him and adored him for all he was doing. Speaking to others of the work “his young patient” was doing!

Sadly today after P’nut’s check up we learned that his doctor was leaving to work on a big project that he had been asked to head up; as we left out we felt the heavy hearts of not only losing an excellent doctor , someone we trusted our son’s life to, but we’ve lost an encourager, a listener and a person who empowered us to be, not only individually but as a family the best we could be “in this life”!

Like the quote above said  when you are dealing with a condition, disease, illness; whatever it may be that you must be under constant care/supervision of a doctor unless that doctor cares a whole awful lot, and truly cares no amount of medicine, visits nothing is going to make it better, It just isn’t! If you so happen to be blessed with a doctor who cares completely it makes a difference there may not be a cure for what you are going through, but their genuineness is medicine for the soul! The walk can become a little easier knowing that your doctor is with you all the way, fighting alongside you!

Dr. L (as we called him) may not have been able to cure our son but he placed us on a path to healing mentally and spiritually and as a family! He empowered us and encouraged us not to let Epilepsy stop us but use it as a stepping ground to take our son right to the top! Because Dr. L. Cared an awful lot; life got better, our way of living became better!

As we departed his office his last words to P’nut “a couple of years from now you will be bigger and  I’m expecting great things from you!”

Dr. L thank you for walking this journey with us, and taking care of our P’nut. We will truly miss you! We know you are going to help make great strides and “We’re expecting great things from you!”

Call of Duty!

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Call of Duty is a very popular video game in the entertainment world, and most likely if you are a gamer you play, or have tried to play the game! If you haven’t done either of these, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, or know someone who plays it!

This game is filled with missions and  series of objectives. If you play online you can play with others from around the world separated into teams with a specific mission to complete! When playing online this game calls for timing, precision, skill, teamwork , maneuvering, anticipation of your enemy’s movement And much more.

I live with an avid C.O.D. (At this moment it’s C.O.D. Ghosts) player and many times the games go from fantasy to real life (L.O.L.) and if I was asked to sum up the game with one word it would be “Intense” and just from hearing the noise from outside the door it can go from fun to highly emotional with one movement of the controller! There have been many times where the reminder has not only been this is not real life, but just a game! We have also joked of the fact that when my husband is going to play, he’s off to war, and those times he’s not playing, that he’s home on leave! Yes it’s that serious!

All jokes aside; as I thought about his game after texting him to quiet down, I realized we have all been given a “Call of Duty” in life whether we understand it or not! In our life here on earth we have been given a purpose. In our purpose (the reason we are here) we will be given many missions, filled with a series of objectives that we must complete!

Then there are times like on the online version of the game, that there is one special specific mission that must be completed! The mission that not only calls us to have precision, skill, teamwork, anticipation, but one that requires patience, and the wherewithal to endure!

You see the games can be played in the first person; where the player experiences the action through the eyes of the protagonist. Or you play the third person where it’s an outside view, over the shoulder, behind the back. This third person view allows you to see the surrounding environment better and act accordingly. It allows you to see the mission through total different eyes!

For my husband and I we have been given a “Call of Duty” with a specific mission to take care of a child who has Epilepsy! Just like when you first start playing the video game, you have to learn it and the more you do, the better you get at it. So it’s the same for taking care of our son we had to learn how. We had to also come to grips with the fact that in this mission we are not first person but third! Our job to stay by our son’s side at all times watching his environment, helping him to see the things he couldn’t from his view and acting accordingly. It may get very intense at times, and it may seem as though Epilepsy is getting all the points but  the objective is to work as a team to endure this condition and one day not only with our son, but 65 million others we will  be able to say we “Won the round” !

*If you have been given a specific mission whether in first person or third; don’t give up remember you have been given all the tools you need for your “Call of Duty” you just need to learn how to use them!

Forget, Strain and Press!

Lately People ask me about my faith, I have decided to include a section about my faith. The only way I can start is by taking you back!

I remember sitting in the pew years ago when I was just a little girl; with my eyes wide open, my ears listening intently and my body hanging off the edge of the pew! I was listening to the Pastor tell this story and not only was it interesting to hear, but this Pastor’s actions spoke louder than words! That Sunday the particular text he was preaching on; he began to tell us to visualize being in a race and he started to use words that were so detailed you could see everything. As he spoke he came down further into the aisle and grabbed two of the biggest guys in the congregation; both no less than 6’2′  and weighing in the lower 300lbs. Now this is a big deal because this pastor he was 5’5′ and middle/ upper 100lbs. and he put the guys on each side of him, their purpose to hold him back and as you saw this struggle going on he came to a verse and he began to speak  : “Forgetting what was behind and straining toward what is ahead, pressing on toward the goal.” and as the pastor spoke these words you could see the struggle between him and both guys; he was straining to get past them! As the straining continued the pastor began unzipping his robe and as he strained he began to let go of the robe and working his arms out of it, he was also able to free himself from the two gentlemen; when they realized he had worked his way free they began to hold him back but he had already gained his momentum and was able to drag them to his goal! As he reached his goal everyone stood up and was clapping, to see this person win even when the odds were against them amazed us!

That sermon left a huge impact on me, and to this day I can see and hear that sermon just as if it were happening at that moment. There have been many times were I have had to replay not only the sermon but that verse in my head to keep me going!

You see the pastor had a purpose, he had a  goal, he had a prize to win; and along this purpose he was met by some heavy opposition that was trying to hold him down at all cost, but he couldn’t let it. He was so focused on reaching his goal that he was willing to let go of the thing that was (or what I thought was essential to him) to meet his goal. When he let go of this, he was able strain and gain the  momentum needed to press to his goal!

At that moment on that Sunday years ago after watching the Pastor speak on that Philippians 3:12-14 text; I decided that was the way I wanted to be , that at all cost I wanted to be a living example of those verses!

I have learned over the  years that not only was this the pastor’s struggle but this is for everyone of us here on earth! I have learned  that there comes a time in your life when your faith calls you to let go of what was, and strain towards what is! There is a time when you must press even when you don’t feel like pressing… but you must do so to reach the goal!

E.L.I.T.E.

When you are open to change, when you are willing to be led, when you are willing to be used, when you are willing to accept that which no longer is and embrace what has become, when you know that things are out of your hands and in the hands of someone bigger than you that is Humility! ~Angela Floyd

I could’ve kept going over and over in my mind what plans we had made for P’nut , what he was suppose to do and be. The legacy he was suppose to leave but…
There are times when you just can’t go back to what you used to do, and more times when you can’t go back to who you were! This was one of those times, uncharted waters for me and my family, but if I wanted P’nut to make it a step had to be made!

We had been given his limitations, his boundaries. We had been told all the effects Epilepsy had on social and academic life. We had been told of all the drawbacks… So hmmm, were we basically to treat him like he was normal but not expect much of him? Where do you go with that? When everything is stacked up against you? When the odds are said to not be on your side?

I was going to have to be willing to change my way of thinking, I was going to have to be willing to act a new way! If there needed to be change, if I wanted change it started with me! It had to start with me! There was no way I could expect my son to accept his Epilepsy if I hadn’t fully! Epilepsy was going to be with him the rest of his life, he was not growing out of it! For him there was no cure etc. all the “drawbacks” and limitations and changes they needed to be accepted fully, with no ifs ands or buts about it! These were now going to have to be seen as building blocks, not stumbling and we were going to have to build life around these! Find a way to deal with these on a positive rather than negative! For him to accept and see that everything was going to be alright, we had to show him how!

It was at this time that I was given the concept of E.L.I.T.E. which means:
E.pilepsy
L.ife
I.s
T.eaching me to be
E.xceptonal

You see I could no longer expect him to meet requirements and expectations if I wasn’t ready to meet some myself! If I wanted my son to have a chance, if I wanted him to beat the odds… Well I was going have to take the journey with him, and I was going to have to be way more than vocal I was going to have to back it up with action! I knew there were times where he was going to be able to walk, jog and run beside me in the journey, but I also knew there were going to be times where he was going to need me to pick him up carry him to that goal! If I wasn’t willing to train myself and make myself stronger for the journey and this life I was going to be no good for him! This was not something I could put off on anyone else either, I couldn’t wait for someone to show me, I couldn’t wait for someone to teach me… I had to educate myself on everything about Epilepsy so the reading began and the note taking commenced! I was willing to change! I Was open to learn! And Epilepsy was my subject!

When it came to life I had to learn how to see it different, that there was no perfection in it! What man saw as perfect and the guidelines it set on perfection in this life were flawed! That life was not what man created but God and in that all are created equal and all created wonderful! That life and all it’s beauty was not held to one set of rules, but was actually based on each persons uniqueness and ability. Through each individual eye life will have a different take, look and outcome!

I was learning that the past was just that the past and couldn’t be relived! That the present is just that, and needed to be lived in fully for that was the time given! I was learning to live in the moment and that was going to be something he needed to embrace, the here and now! The future was to be left to live in at that time and not before it!

I was having to move out of my comfort zone and be taught by others! I had to be willing to meet and speak with others who knew and lived with Epilepsy and be willing to learn and take from their experiences, so I could be not only a better Mother to P’nut but a better caregiver! The teacher of the house had to be teachable!

I had to stop being the normal mom, making the kids accept me for who and what I was and strive to be so much more for them! I was no longer ok with what I was, they would sometimes say Mommy you’re the best, the best was no longer good enough!

You see life is not about being firm and unmovable; there will be seasons where that is fine and it’s what’s needed, but many more seasons where to survive you have to be willing to change with the circumstances! I thought that I had given my son life by having him, I thought that I was the one who had lessons to teach…but I was wrong!

I have learned Epilepsy just doesn’t affect the person who has been diagnosed with it but it affects all those who love them. You see in my two year journey with Epilepsy ,Life it is Teaching Me to be Exceptional and in turn I turn around and teach my husband and together we turn and teach our son and other children; and then united as a family we teach each other and learn together how to be Exceptional!

E.L.I.T.E. is a circle that continues, it is a ever growing process that you never perfect, because as you complete one level of living it is time to learn a new level and each time there is such an awesome goal you reach a life that is completely fulfilled in every way!

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Times are Changing

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From day one my kids have all been those that had to stick to a schedule, one day off a complete chaos for weeks until they calmly slipped back into their schedule! My husband and I had plans for our children, hopes and dreams strategically made for each one of them! Our set house life an the way we went about things was to raise our kids to be the best at everything and to achieve these goals we had for them! For this very fact and reason I became a creature of habit ( in my earlier years I just went with the flow.). In this habit I started to go about things in a mundane way!
This was our life and at that time from the parental point of view my husband and I thought it was good! Those years when P’nut first started to show signs something was going on with him it threw our lives for a loop and things began to go off balance a little but we made it through that time somewhat!

Shortly after P’nut’s diagnosis and things had started to calm down, my husband and I decided it was time to get the house back in order, we felt it was best!

You see we tried to place our home back under that routine, back under the hopes and dream we had created! One day during classes P’nut broke into tears… He couldn’t remember what he had been taught, he felt incapable of fulfilling the path we had put him on, and he wanted to give up! He was mad at himself for letting his Dad and I down and spent his whole afternoon in tears!

That night as I sat going over the day I knew tomorrow couldn’t be the same for anyone but especially P’nut. I knew the schedule, routine, hopes and dreams we had spent 8yrs. Building and perfecting were going to have to be tossed out and we were going to have to start from scratch. I also knew even then that it may take a few tries to find the right fit for us!

I started asking myself these questions:

1. What was the problem/challenge?

2. What was the need?

3. What were possible solutions?

4. What was the focus?

5. What could be the initiative?

6. What was the goal?

7. What would be the impact?

As I set and pondered these questions….I was getting ready to learn the biggest lesson of my life!
Something was about to be formed, something was being made from the broken pieces and that was…
E.L.I.T.E.