Strength Not of My Own!

” Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”  ~ unknown

In 2006 after years of trying to figure out symptoms and complications that I had been dealing with since in my teens; a doctor was able to pinpoint the problem and I was diagnosed with Wolff- Parkinson- White a heart condition in which the electrical system of the heart is abnormal causing rapid heart rates. With the finding of this and a couple faulty valves my cardiologist wanted me to have surgery. I was to stop some of my current activities till I was able to control my condition a little better; one of them being teaching dance at that time, and the other caring full time for my 2 children. I told my doctor giving those things up was not an option, and I would learn to control these things with diet and increase exercise regime!

After great discipline I was able to control my condition and episodes a lot better, and they soon only came during high stress times.

A couple of years down the line I once again fell ill, dealing with symptoms I had dealt with as a teen/ early adult that no one could diagnosis! I had just had my youngest son and was dealing with intense symptoms and I was seeing my doctor they started running test to see if I had M.S.  and was shortly able to rule that out, but the question still remained what was going on? Shortly after I was diagnosed with Lupus, thrown back into learning how to maintain a proper diet, find the right exercise regime etc.

I struggled to find the right balance and be the healthy person my family needed! I found a rhythm to keeping myself healthy! Another obstacle passed!

Not even a year after my diagnosis we were hit with another obstacle this time my oldest son, he was diagnosed with Epilepsy and I would have to learn to care for him! Even on days where I wasn’t a 100%  I  would have to struggle to fight the pain… to do the things I normally in “sick days” couldn’t do for myself let alone others!

Just this Summer I learned after a hearing checkup that I was losing my hearing and would soon need to be fitted for hearing aids, yet another obstacle to overcome!

When people learn of my story they always worry and ask how do you do it? I can understand if you just went insane, or if you decided to give up! What they don’t know and  never understand is that  On my weakest days, that is when I’m my strongest;  there is  a strength that is beyond my understanding fueling me, pushing me, giving me a power far beyond my natural capabilities! God has taken me in his arms he walks me through the toughest days, the weakest days! On the days I and others may understand if I give up God holds me tighter and blesses me with a strength that is of his own, all He ask in return is that I never give up, that I trust him to hold me and carry me through,  Making me a true testimony of the ‘Footprints in the Sand!”

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walk­ing along the beach with the Lord.

Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed two sets of foot­prints in the sand:

One belong­ing to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the foot­prints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints

He also noticed that it hap­pened at the very low­est and sad­dest times in his life.

This really both­ered him, and he ques­tioned the Lord about it.

“Lord, you said that once I decided to fol­low you

you’d walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that dur­ing the most trou­ble­some times in my life

there is only one set of footprints.

I don’t under­stand why when I needed you the most you would leave me.”

The Lord replied, “My pre­cious, pre­cious child,

I love you and I would never leave you.

Dur­ing your times of trial and suffering,

when you saw only one set of foot­prints in the sand,

it was then that I car­ried you.”

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*Thank you to my brother who shared this quote and touched my heart!