“What happens to us Mommy? Do who we are, to other people change, because our lives changed? Did Epilepsy change us that much?” This was the question that rattled my ears, my brain and my heart Saturday: as we drove home from our afternoon appointment! I looked into the rearview mirror at my 10yr. old son and his face stared at me earnestly while tears filled his eyes!
I knew why he posed this question it is one that has gone through my mind millions of times,but yet have not touched my lips; they have stayed as far back in my mind as possible. They have been placed there to keep the hurt from becoming an unwanted reality!
I slowly but surely answer: “What happens to us? well we go on to be the strong and loving people we were destined to be! We go on to be united and strengthened as individuals and a family! We continue to live each day as it comes, and to enjoy every moment we can with love, and lots of laughter complete with many memories! As far as who we are to others, sweetie only that person or those people can decide! Did Epilepsy change us ? the answer is Yes and No!”
Now to you who may be reading this blog can I ask you this question? What is stability? What do you consider to be stable in your life? What are the qualifications for someone to be seen as stable in your life?
The definition of Stable:
Firmness in position; continual without change;permenant. Resistant to change, especially sudden change or deterioration.
These words were how I classified stability in my life, and I likewise saw myself to others… But over the past years I’ve wondered have I done myself and those close to me more harm with thinking this way? Have I set myself and now my family up for a heartbreak?
What happens to us? I think it’s a question many Moms and Dads ask themselves individually, a question many parents ask each other. Many families together wonder. Something that Individuals, couples, love ones etc. ask when something hits their lives. Something that drastically changes their lives from what they once knew it!
What happens to us when we can’t make it to every celebration? What happens to us when I just can’t pick up and go? What happens to us when at the last minute plans change, and I must cancel? What happens to us when schedules are no longer flexible? What happens when I just can’t talk on the phone for hours? What happens when I can’t entertain the way I use to? What happens when I can’t go out with the girls/guys on a normal basis? What happens when the reality of life hits?
Does who I am become a who I was to you? Does our relationship change? Will you see me differently and view my life through eyes of sadness?
Or will you be there to help me “Seize the Moments” I can? Will you be there even when I can’t? Will you understand when at the last moment plans change? Will you schedule me in, even when I can’t be as flexible as you? Will you hear me even when I can’t talk? Will you let me be part of your life even when I can’t be the life of the party? Will you hang with me even when I can’t hang out? Will you stand with me, when life jolts me and throws me? When reality settles and hits me all over will you stand with me through it all?
I see things such as rocks, mountains, many things in nature as stable because they’ve been around for a time! Look at caves they have been around from the beginning of time they are very stable, and hold mysteries untold…. But the truth about caves are they started out as rocks and over time the elements around them have edged and formed and molded them into the beautiful symbols of stability they are today; and when you look inside their is a treasure to be found inside of them!
In the same way to be effective parents, significant others, love ones, extended family and friends; a community of support we too must learn to be as stable as the rock but also letting the change of time and life mold us into caves! A true symbol of stability that others may need! The treasure that will be stored inside is not only that of memories but of love that will be carved into the rock that will endure this lifetime and stand through everything!
So my question to you are you willing to be my kind of STABLE?